These are all old photos from my past blogs. I don’t have any updated ones, but yeah I still have red and white patches on my legs and arms. & I’m an inactive member of PSORPHIL. Haven’t posted anything psor related for years, so here you go.
I was diagnosed with Psoriasis in the year 2007. I was only 14. I know next to nothing about the disease. I was never confident in my own skin. I had lots of doubts and insecurities even before I was diagnosed. I kept on wishing I had this kind of body or that I had fair flawless skin and so on. My faith in myself was nonexistent. I refrained from joining social events and activities in school. I was a wallflower and I still am. I tried to get away from the attention because I was too afraid of what others might think of me. It was bad. My way of thinking at such a young age was messed up. Now having this skin condition made me feel much worse than I already did back then.
Psoriasis is a lifetime disease. It is chronic and there’s still no cure for it. There are tons of treatments to avoid triggers but it differs from person to person. I was honestly overwhelmed when we found out. I was only 14 and in my second year in high school. My mother was in denial at first. She kept on saying it was only an allergy, that I got it from swimming pools or this or that. She had endless assumptions. We just couldn’t fully accept that it is hereditary. My parents don’t know someone who has it in the family. Well, maybe my ancestors had this ailment. Who knows?
I, too, was in denial. Every night I kept on asking myself, “Why me? Of all the people, why me?”. It still pains me to see myself covered in red scaly itchy patches and also having to experience other skin conditions such as Dermatographic Urticaria. It was tough for me and my family with all the medication and financial stuff we had to deal with just to “cure” me. Thankfully, I got rid of it, only for a while. (Psoriasis may go into remission. The symptoms may not be visible for a period of time, but it will always come back again when triggered. It is a never-ending cycle.) And you know what else I had to deal with? Judgment. We all know it’s innate to human beings, but it still hurts me. I sometimes received painful words from mean, narrow-minded people. I remember someone joking and saying, “Get away from me. I might get infected,” when they already know the fact that it wasn’t contagious, still, they just couldn’t stop saying nonsense. If I know this is transmittable, I wouldn’t bother going out and risk the health of others. I know I shouldn’t let other people’s words get me down, but I just can’t help it. It just goes to show how powerful words can be. I just hope people are more cautious about what they say.
It actually took me a while to fully accept the skin I’m in and I’m still working on caring less about what other people think of me. Now it made me ask, “Why not me?” I guess that’s just how life goes after all. Things happened to us. It may seem unfair, but life is neither fair nor unfair. It is just the way it is. Faced with such circumstances, we must trust God’s plan for us. He always sees the big picture, and He will make all things right. Battling with Psoriasis for 11 years has only made me stronger. Yes, I do have days when I feel hurt, gross-out, shitty, and ugly but only for a little while. As much as possible, I always try to look on the bright side of life. Also, it is comforting to know that there are people out there who go through exactly what I’m going through and who have the courage to upload images of their skin without the fear of discrimination. It made me feel I’m not alone and I thank you all for that. You guys are awesome.
Let’s continue spreading awareness and be an inspiration. Just remember, that you’re simply beautiful for who you are and your body, even with psoriasis or whatever you’re dealing with. They’re just spots that were left as badges for how badass you are.
“Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to use.” – Romans 8:18
hazygrains 
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